An aching pain
by Gladrial
Summary: I don't want to give away the story but I will tell you that Jubilee is in it. This story is rated Pg-13 for one small fight scene. I am confused about how to rate things so this might be PG. Updated Feb 4 added 2 chapters!!!!!
1. An aching pain

An aching pain  
  
We see a lot of stories where Jubilee is killed leaving Wolverine to deal with his emotion afterwards. This story provides a different perspective. I wrote it after reading "Tears in Heaven" by Sacha. In my universe Ev, Scott, Cynjen and Jubilee's parents are dead. Also Jubilee is seventeen.   
  
  
Sabretooth had come and kidnapped Jubilee from the Massachusetts academy again. Issuing a threat that if anyone but "the runt" came after them the frail would make a nice throw rug when he was done. Wolverine followed after them issuing similar threats to the X-men if they followed. Sabretooth and Jubilee were already deep into Canada, headed for a place they all knew, before Logan caught up. The irony of the situation was not lost on Logan. They were headed to the cabin where Sabretooth had killed Silver Fox. Logan knew this area well enough so he raced ahead to confront Sabretooth before he reached the cabin.   
Wolverine found Jubilee in a clearing; tied to a tree hanging limply in the ropes. Sabretooth was standing next to her. He slapped he across the face. "Wake up frail Sabretooth called, yer runt here ta save ya." Jubilee came around and her eyes met with Wolverine's speaking volumes with only a stare. She strained against the ropes trying to break free.   
Sabretooth: "Na uh frail this fight is between me and the runt." He said as his claws traced a path down her cheek, "But don't worry I'll get ta ya I'll gut ya right before he dies so he can hear your screams." Wolverine had just stood there knowing that there was nothing he could do while Sabretooth was standing so close to Jubilee. "That's it Tooth, said Wolverine. No more games one of us just ain't walking away this time this has gone on long enough." A wet "shuckt" punctuated the end of Wolverine's sentence. With that, the dance of death started. Slash duck twist, Kick spin punch, hours passed as these two experienced fighters tried to gain the upper hand on the other. Jubilee could only watch and struggle to get out of her bonds so she could help Wolvie. Both me were tiring, there healing factors couldn't keep up with the continuous punishment. Sabretooth panted, "Getting tired runt? Your frail was way more entertaining than this." Wolverine screamed "I'll kill you" in that instant rage clouded his judgement. This was just what Sabretooth had been hoping for. Wolverine charged into the trap. Sabretooth side stepped and sunk his claws into Wolverine. Logan fell into a crumpled heap on the ground, breathing barely. Sabretooth dusted off his hands, " And now time to play with your frail. Her scream can send you off to hell." Adrenaline pumped though Jubilee lending her the strength needed to break the ropes.   
"Wolvie NOOOOO, howled Jubilee. You killed him Sabretooth." Fear and anger fueled the fireworks she shot at him. These emotions opened the door to Jubilee highest range of powers. She blew Sabretooth up on a cellular level each cell imploding individually. It took minutes for Sabretooth to die. Wolverine groaned, and Jubilee ran over.   
Jubilee whispered in his ear, "Wolvie, your alive you can heal. Sabretooth can't hurt either of us anymore, he is dead I killed him. We're safe now." Her blue eyes met his. Wolverine coughed splattering blood on Jubilee. His voice was weak when he spoke, " Darlin' I'm not going ta heal this time. Sabretooth knew what he was doing. Tell Kitty and 'Ro to take care of each other and that I love um both." He broke into another fit of coughing. "Darlin' , Jubilee, he whispered, I will." The coughing returned and then stopped his eyes turned cold and unseeing. "You will what, Jubilee screamed, come back damn you." She beat on his chest. You can't leave me like this. Wolvie I never got to tell you how much I love you. Please come back to meeeee," she sobbed into his chest.   
In both Massachusetts and in New York every telepath woke up in a cold sweat. Knowing the exact detail of Wolverine's death and the pain of the girl that grieved for him. It took the combined efforts of the Professor, Jean and Emma to contain her cries to a small section of the astral plan. The blackbird left immediately for her location in Canada. Jubilee cried and sobbed for hours rocking Wolverine's body in her lap. She slowly came to the realization that he wouldn't be back. A healing factor only worked if you were alive. Jubilee stood up laying Wolverine gently on the ground. She wanted to sent him off in true firecracker fashion. Jubilee formed a blob of energy between her fingers. She let it go and it encircled the body of Wolverine. The she then stretched the blob as high as it would go, reaching far into the pre night sky. The column sparkled and changed colors, the northern lights were paled in comparison. She held the flame as long as she could longer than she ever thought possible. Others saw Jubilee's tribute. The blackbird was just about to land when the column was formed. The Glow lit up the inside of the blackbird. By the goddess, Oh my stars and garters, What the hell is that, asked the X-men? Professor Xaiver answered their questions. "That my X-men is Jubilee's tribute to the man she loved. Wolverine's body is in the center of that fire and as his body burns so does a piece of her soul." The blackbird landed, and the Professor contacts Jubilee   
*Jubilee we are here. Well that was quick Prof, she thinks . We came as soon as we heard your cries on the astral plane. Oops sorry I was so loud. Can you do me a favor Prof? Tell Kitty and 'Ro what his last words were. No, you can tell them will be there in 5 minutes.   
The X-men left the blackbird to enter the clearing where Jubilee was waiting. As soon as they all gathered. Jubilee started talking,"He is gone and it is my fault. If had just been stronger Sabretooth never would have caught me and Wolvie wouldn't be dead." Jubilee looked close to breaking down. She fell to her knees, and Gambit strode forward to comfort her. "Wait,she held up a hand, I need to tell Kitty and 'Ro something. She stood and walked over to were Kitty and 'Ro stood huddled together. Wolvie's last words were for you, he said that he loved you both and to take care of each other.   
The X-men just stared at her for a moment. Gambit spoke, " 'tite, Gambit wonder where is Sabretooth now?" The rest of the X-men nodded in agreement. He must be brought to justice they said. A smile crossed Jubilee's face, "Funny you should say that Gumbo. I think he should be getting his justice right about now. I killed him." "Are you sure petite, asked Gambit? Sabretooth have a healing factor." She sent everyone and image of Sabretooth death. I blew him up on a cellular level I am sure he is dead. The X-men were shocked that Jubilee could kill anyone. "I know, she said. X-men don't kill, truthfully X-men only do one thing really well they die. I am leaving . I can't deal with the stares from you all and the blood on my hands. Jubilee fled into the darkness.  
Gambit went to follow. "No Gambit," boomed the Professor. "Jubilee was wrong she must face that. She broke the founding rule being an X-men, she took a life." "Professor Gambit spoke up, the petite may have killed Sabretooth but some people deserve killing. You forget Jubilee only 17 and seen more death than some of you. Now her second father dies without any goodbye his last breath used on Kitty and Stormy. Dis how ya'll are going to act?" He looks accusingly and the X-men. Gambit not want to be an X-man right now den." Gambit followed after Jubilee. The remaining X-men just stood there in shock. Something caught Storm's eye glinting in the pale moon light. The X-men circled around a patch of scorched earth. There laying in the center were six adamintum claws crossed in an X. Storm alone stepped into the circle. Storm picked up the claws cradling them in her arms. "I will take these in memory of my friend, Logan. A tear escaped her control and a gentle rain began to fall. The X-men filed back on to the blackbird. Returning to New York to plan a memorial service for their fallen team member.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued..... HA HA HA  
I will be writing this story in two parts for a little bit one for the X-men and one for Jubilee.  
I have the next part written and assuming I don't get a lot of homework I should post it soon.  
P.S. I write these stories to help my grammar and sentence construction so if you find any glaring errors tell me I'll fix them and repost a corrected version of the story.  
  



	2. Chapter 2 Gambit and Jubilee

  
  
  
A Silent Madness Jubilee and Gambit  
Okay for a little while this story will be written in two sections. One addressing Jubilee and Gambit side   
and other the X-men. You probably not have to read the Jubilee and Gambit chapter to understand the X-  
men chapter but you absolutely must read the first part of the fanfict called A Silent Madness. In this story Jubilee is 17 and Amiko is 12. If that messes anyone up. All complaints go to my muse.  
  
  
There was just enough light for Jubilee to make her way threw the forest. She would have liked a little more light. But when she tried her powers nothing not even a little spark she was a little nervous walking through a dark forest with no way to protect herself but she couldn't help that now.   
Gambit used his proximity senses to determine Jubilee's path and allow him to follow her from a distance without becoming lost. He   
didn't call out to her no reason to spook the 'tite till she got to wherever she was going.   
However the night was getting cold and they both needed a place to stay soon. But from her path Gambit thought that Jubilee must be heading toward something. Gambit was slightly surprised when they came to a cabin in the middle of what seemed to be and endless forest. He watched as Jubilee picked up a rock along the path to produce a key. Then she opened the cabin door and disappeared into the darkness. Gambit cursed underhis breath "Mon dieu dis must be one Logan's cabin." Gambit crept up to a window to peer in on Jubilee.  
  
Jubilee single-mindedness was the only thing that had kept her moving forward   
on the walk to the cabin. It was, shear luck that she knew which was the cabin was at all. She had basically kept moving in the direction that Sabretooth said that he was taking   
her. Jubilee had been up to the cabin before so she knew where Logan had hid a key for his friends that took care of the cabin while he was away. She opened the door and stale air assaulted her nose. It was a combination of cigar smoke and beer. It reminded her of what the Princess bar smelt like at closing time. Jubilee fumbled around for the light   
switch. Electricity was a new addition to the cabin after a long argument,which ended, when Jubilee brought up the point that cold beer in the house could be nice. A switch was flicked and a dim bulb glowed revealing the furnishings of the cabin. A couch complete with claw marks, a couple of tables with additional marks, a bed, and a few other miscellaneous things. One thing was sure. This place would always contain the essence of her Wolvie. Jubilee walked over to the dresser by the bed. Pulling out the   
drawer, she removed one of Logan's traditional flannel shirts. Her adrenaline was giving out. She felt about ready to drop where she stood. Jubilee was almost too tired to   
change and she was debating it when she looked at the dried blood on the shirt. That made up her mind. She winced as her muscles protested the new movement. Jubilee pulled the shirt over her head. She examined the collection of bruises running down her rib cage. A little present from Sabretooth before Wolvie had showed up. She pulled on the flannel shirt and buttoned it up to the top. The shirt hung down to her knees allowing   
her to enough modesty to take off her jeans too. She lay down in the bed and scant seconds later Jubilee had dropped into a deep and dreamless sleep.  
  
During this time Gambit had been watching Jubilee threw a window. He had to stifle back a cry when he saw the bruising. He watched her collapse in a heap on the bed. After a couple of minutes when she didn't move, Gambit left his perch and entered the cabin. He walked right over to the petite. After seeing the bruises he need to check and make sure nothing was broken. But he also knew she needed the sleep. He lightly touched her hand, No response. He called her name and felt for a pulse. She had a strong pulse but she still made no movement to acknowledge that she had heard him. Jubilee was out like a light. Remy relaxed his stance it would be easy to check the 'tite now.   
  
Remy sat on the bed and lifted Jubilees limp form up propping her against his chest while he felt down her back for broken bones. He rolled up the sleeves on the shirt and felt down her arms. Mentally cussing at the large vivid handprint on her right arm. Remy laid Jubilee back down. He didn't find any obviously broken bones but he would have preferred a medical scan to be sure.   
"Well 'tite he said to the still figure in the bed. You sleep and Gambit see what kind of supplies we got in dis cabin." Remy rummaged around in the cupboards to find a well-stocked first aid kit, and some food. In the far back of another cabinet he found a six pack. Remy pulled this out to examine it. He examined the label and grimaced. "Clearly dis is Logan's cabin. He the only one in the world dat likes dis beer. He put the beer back where he had found it and pulled a chair over to sit next to Jubilee. He spoke in low hushed tones mostly to himself but the words were for her also. "Gambit here 'tite. He not sure if you'll recover from dis one. But Gambit promises to help if you let him. He wants you to be okay" After that he was silent just watching Jubilee in her sleep.  
  
After eight hours something in the back of Jubilees head nagged at her to get up. She sat up in the bed it was still pre dawn so shadows filled the cabin. Jubilee turned her head only to see a pair of glowing red eyes. Eyes that she didn't remember being there before she panicked. Jubilee stretched out her hand to paf the monster when they were grabbed   
and she grabbed in a tight embrace effectively pinning her hands to her sides. She could feel the hot breath on her neck.   
  
Shhhh 'tite. Its Gambit, easy calm down. Gambit didn't mean to scare you. He know you say that you not want the X-men but he couldn't have wanderin' the woods alone. He didn't know you had a house out here." Gambit could tell that she had calmed down so her released his grip on her and she turn around to face him. Easy 'tite you got some pretty nice bruises there."  
  
"How would you know? Did ya look Cajun, Jubilee sneered?"  
  
"Non it not like that. But Remy had to make sure you weren't hurt bad."  
  
"How long did I sleep?"  
  
"Bout eight hours it's just dawn now. Why don't you try to get some more sleep?"  
"Can't Gambit, I have stuff that has to get done. Someone has to notify Wolvie's friends." Jubilee swung her legs out of the bed and padded across the wood floor to a table. Jubilee pulled open the drawer underneath, pawing through its contents she produced a tablet of paper, a pen and some envelopes. She sat down at the table and quickly wrote down six names and addresses, while Gambit watched over her shoulder.   
  
"Who are these people 'tite?"  
  
"Wolvie had me memorize these addresses when we first started traveling together. These are the people he told me to go to if I was ever in trouble and he wasn't around. So these are the people that are going to care that he is gone the most. I don't think anyone at the mansion has all these addresses. So the job of telling them is mine. Jubilee started to write the first letter.  
  
"Petite don't do dis let Gambit write the letters."  
  
"Not your job. You weren't even there she grumbled." The first five letters happened without tears from Jubilee. She was a little vague when it came to the details of Logan's   
death. But what they lacked in information they made up for with heart and soul. Jubilee gave out the mansion number as a contact for further information about memorial services. Then she came to the last name on the list. Yuko and Amiko, Wolverines adopted daughter, she would take this the worst.   
Jubilee thought to herself "It wasn't fair that the kid had lost her parent again. Amiko deserved something better that a letter of notification. She deserved to hear from the last person that Wolverine talked to." Jubilee looked out the window; it was still fairly early. She would have just enough time to hike into town.   
"Come on Gambit, she said pushing away from the table and grabbing the letters. Hope you brought your hiking shoes cause town is a long walk." Jubilee walked purposefully out the door leaving Gambit to run and catch up to her.   
Both parties passed the walk to town in silent reflection. And just when Gambit thought the woods would go on forever. They stepped out on to a blacktop road that led into the one horse town of Babb. The post office was open so Jubilee went and mailed her letters express mail. Then a trip to the general store to buy some extra supplies and a backpack to carry them back in. All the while Gambit acting like her shadow just following her. Jubilee looked up at the clock in the general store. It would be nighttime in Japan. But that couldn't be helped, she doubted Yuko and Amiko were asleep anyway. Jubilee walk over to the phone booth and with her newly purchased phone card dialed Yuko's number. She was however a little shocked when the phone was picked up on the first ring.  
  
Yuko: Moshi Moshi  
  
Jubilee: Uh hi, its Jubilee. I want to call and tell you about Wolvie.  
  
Yuko: Thank you Katherine-san called us already, a few hours ago.   
  
Jubilee: What did she tell you? How much do you know?  
  
Yuko: She told us that Logan-san died in the samurai way. With honor and dignity. She said that he died protecting someone.  
  
Jubilee: Yeah me, he died trying to protect me from Sabretooth. But we don't have to worry about Sabretooth anymore. Jubilee could hear someone crying in the background.   
Is that Amiko?  
  
Yuko: She is taking this really hard. Another parent has left her. He was supposed to come see us next week.   
  
Jubilee: I'm sorry. I tried to help him. I just couldn't get free. Jubilee was on the verge of breaking down. But she had to be strong for Amiko and Yuko their pain came first.   
  
Jubilee would have the rest of her life to mourn. She cleared her throat, Why don't you put Amiko on the phone; I have something to tell her.  
  
Yuko: Thank you I can't get her to stop sobbing. It's okay to cry, but not for hours on end I am afraid she will make herself sick. Silence flooded as the phone was passes and   
  
Jubilee thought about what she was going to tell Amiko.  
  
Amiko: Jubi-san?  
  
Jubilee: Yes, Miko. I have something I want to tell you. It's a messagefrom Logan-san just for you. He said that even though he was gone his love for you would continue. And that he was honored to have such a find daughter. He wanted you to remember this. If ever you are lonely and need to be reminded of Logan-san's love for you just look up at   
the blue sky. That blue is the blue of Logan-san eyes smiling and looking down on you. Do you understand Miko?  
Amiko: Yes  
  
Jubilee: Can you give the phone back to Yuko now?  
  
Yuko: What did you say to her? She is smiling and so happy.   
  
Jubilee: Nothing just what Wolvie would have told her. If you need anymore help with the kid let me know I understand how tough it is to lose a parent. So Kitty is coming to pick you up right?  
  
Yuko: Yes she should be here soon. We will see you at the funeral.  
  
Jubilee Yeah sure, maybe. Well I have to go Yuko bye. Jubilee hung up the phone and leaned against the booth.   
  
Gambit leaned his head into talk to her. " Petite Logan didn't say dat stuff did he?"  
  
"Like I said he would have if given more time. Amiko is to young to lose a parent again with out any sort of comfort." Jubilee stepped out of the phone booth and shouldered her   
new pack.   
  
"How old is Amiko?"  
  
"'Bout twelve I think why?"  
  
"Isn't dat the age you were when your folks died? Dose the words you wanted to hear 'tite?"  
  
So maybe they were but nobody could lie to me and say those things my parents died instantly. Gambit, she cried why won't you just go home? You're not helping anything. I don't want you here please just go and leave me alone."  
  
"I stay you need a friend right now and Remy be dat."  
  
"You just don't get it do you?"  
  
"Den explain it to Remy."  
  
"Fine you want the truth. Apocalypse got it wrong when he made Wolvie the Angel of Death. I am death, my parents, Ev, Cynjen, Wolvie and Sabretooth all dead because of me. I killed them all I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to any of them. A tear escaped her control and crawled down her face.   
  
Gambit stepped forward and enfolded Jubilee in a hug. "It not like dat Jubilee. Death happens, we live in dangerous time especially as mutants. None of dis yourfault."  
  
"What about this. In Bishop's future I am the last X-man, but no one know why. I do, I must do something that gets you all killed. Now do you understand how I feel? Why I can't go back and you need to go. I am going back to the cabin. Remy don't follow this time. I don't want to have to hurt you but I will if that's what it take to get you to leave." Jubilee walked of in the direction of the forest.  
  
Gambit didn't follow. There wasn't anything he could do if she absolutely didn't want him there then he couldn't stay. Staying may serve to drive Jubilee farther away. He needed help with Jubilee but he wasn't sure who to call normally Logan would have been his first thought but that wasn't possible now. With a heavy heart Gambit caught the only bus leaving town that day to make his way back to the X-mansion.  
  
  
  
Like this story. Are you hooked? Let me know the next two section are written I just need to get them typed   
and proofed. Feedback encourages me. If you'd like to be my Beta reader let me know I am sort of   
looking for one.  
  
  



	3. Meanwhile back with the X-men

A silent madness Ch 2B X-man side  
  
  
Note: I am writing Heather Hudson how I think she is. I have not read enough comics to get a true feel for her character. Any difference you see from the comics is where I used my own personality to add to hers.  
  
  
  
After a two-day cross-country trip Gambit arrived at the familiar driveway that led to the mansion. Gambit walked up to the mansion's double doors and opened them with a casual ease.   
Storm was waiting on the other side of the door. "Remy, my friend your back. Where is Jubilation?" Storm tried to look around his shoulder.   
"Let's take a walk outside Storm." The left the shelter of the mansion and entered the gardens behind the house. Stormy da 'tite still there. Up at a cabin, one of Wolverine's near where Sabretooth had her. She not want dis tief around. Gambit couldn't help her. She hurt more than Remy could stand."  
"Surely she will come home for the memorial."  
"Remy don't know if the 'tite ever come back. To her Wolverine is just another person dat died on her without letting her say goodbye."  
" I don't understand, Remy. Jubilee was there when he died, surely she had time to speak her peace. Wolverine had time to give Jubilee his last words for Kitten and me. "   
Dat message Jubilee had for you. Dose were Logan's last words"  
"Yes, I know". Realization had not dawned on Storm yet.  
Remy sighed, "Stormy dose were Wolverine's last words, his only words. Da tite didn't get any thing or even a chance to say goodbye."  
"Dear goddess, surely that is not true. I just assumed that when Jubilee talked to us that he had said something to her."  
"Petite is convince dat she is the angel of death. She thinks that the reason she becomes the last X-man in Bishop's future is because she kills us all. She has the guilt of Wolverine's death combined with her parent, dat Thomas boy and her friend Cynjen. She might come around with some time. Maybe if somebody else went up there she respected went up there and talked to her"   
"Remy, we cannot no one is allowed. The Professor has forbidden anyone to go after her. She broke the one rule of being X-men. Jubilee took a life."  
"Why is da Professor taking dis so seriously. Other have killed before."  
"Not when the Professor knew about it, not while they were on the team, not in the way Jubilee did. Remy she imploded Sabretooth on a cellular level. He saw it all in his mind when we met Jubilee in the woods, violence like that sinks into the very astral plane."  
"When da the memorial?"  
"Kitten picked up Yuko and Amiko. The service will be held tomorrow. A couple of other people have called the mansion expressing an interest in coming. Who contacted them?"  
"Da tite she wrote letters to some of Wolverine's closest friends and gave the mansion number as a contact point."  
"We looked in his room and couldn't find any addresses. I didn't know that he would write anything down."   
"He didn't have anything written down. Des we just the name dat he had the 'tite memorize incase she was in trouble and he wasn't around."  
"Why don't you go get some sleep Remy. You look tired and tomorrow promises to be a long day."   
"Remy tink dat the best idea he heard all day."  
  
The next day dawned and the X-men could be seen in full battle uniform. They all wore black armbands out of respect for their teammate. The day was gray and overcast as they stood in the graveyard, fitting in away that the sun wouldn't shine on this day of grief. Other mourners were there the X-men were not the only people that Wolverine had touched. Sean Cassady had come up from Massachusetts for his old teammate. Spiderman, Nick Fury, Captain America, Maverick, Carol Danvers, Heather Hudson, Yuko, Amiko and even Lady Deathstrike had come to honor Wolverine's memory.   
Professor Xaiver came forward from the group and floated to rest near a sheet covered object. The crowd silenced and waited. "We are here today to honor the passing of a great warrior. The sudden passing of Logan stuns me, but not the manner of his death. Logan died with the honor and dignity befitting a warrior like himself. Sacrificing himself for another. He was always a puzzle to me. Such a passionate fighter in mind and body. Mixed with a soul that was always so gentle and kind with those he considered family." The Professor pulled the sheet of the object to reveal a stone. At that moment a beam of sunlight broke threw the clouds illuminating the stone where these words were visible.  
Logan AKA Wolverine  
A fighter's sprits never dies it just fights a different battle. Below those words imbedded into the stone were Wolverine's claws crossed in an X.  
Storm came forward, her tears falling along with a gentle rain. "Please join us at the mansion for the wake. As far as we know Logan left no will. If there is something you would like to have to remember him by then please take it." The group walked back the shelter of the house.   
Once inside two very determined women cornered Storm in the living room.   
"Storm isn't it? I am Heather Hudson. Logan talked about you a lot.   
"Can I help you?"  
"Well Yuko, Heather nodded to Yuko standing next to her. Well you see we were just wondering where Jubilee was. We wanted to talk to her, to thank her for all that she did. She wrote me a very nice letter about Logan.  
Yuko spoke, "Storm, I haven't seen Jubilee around since Amiko and I arrived. I asked a couple of the X-Men and none of them will give me a straight answer. I want to talk to her about what she did for Amiko."  
Sean Cassady had been standing near by and after hearing his student's name mentioned he walk over to join the group, Gambit followed him.   
"Storm where is the lass? She must be taking this harder than most."  
"Jubilee is at Logan's cabin in Canada."  
"Why, asked Sean, Heather and Yuko?  
"Do you all know how Wolverine died?"  
Heather answered, we assumed on a mission with the X-men.  
"Non, said Gambit. Jubilee had been kidnapped by Sabretooth. Wolverine died fighting him, to save Jubilee. They were up by the cabin when he died. So dat is where da tite went."  
Anger rose in Sean Irish face. "Where is Sabretooth?"  
"Remy eyes filled with sorrow, "da 'tite killed Sabretooth"  
Heather and Yuko stood there taking the information in. Sean did not, "How could you leave her alone after that. Why didn't you bring her home?"  
"Da Professor told us not go after her. But Gambit followed her. Gambit stay with her for a little while but she not want dis tief around so Gambit left. She radiating more emotion den Remy could stand."  
"The Professor told you not to go after Jubilee," shock clearly visable on all faces?  
The Professor had made his way over to the corner where he could sense the anger and rage in Sean's voice. I gave the order to leave Jubilee because she broke the one rule of being an X-man. The rule that separates us from our enemies, the one thing that makes us different from every other Superhero team. X-men do not kill. Jubilee has known that rule ever since she moved into the mansion. She accepted that fact and lived by the rule. I would glad forgive her and welcome her back with open arms if it had been an accident or Jubilee felt remorse for her act. She has neither, when she told us about killing Sabretooth she felt no sorrow or remorse. She was almost happy that she had done it. The method in which she used was not quick or painless, I believe that Jubilee knew what she was doing when she imploded him on a cellular level. She knew how long it would take him to die and how much he would suffer. Changing Sabretooth's death from self-defense to a premeditated murder.   
Heather could control herself no longer she walked right up to the Professor and looked him in the eyes attempting to stare him down. "I don't understand you X-men, are you rules so precious that you would condemn Jubilee a girl you claim to love. Her second father, friend, and partner dies and you just leave her in the woods! Of course she knew what she was doing, she just watch Sabretooth kill Logan. And if that was how she chose to kill Sabretooth then she had the right. Logan told me how great you all were. And how you Professor help him try to recover his past memories and make sense of his life. Have your shields grown so thick now that you can't feel empathy for a wounded child. How can you preach for equality and forgiveness for mutantkind when you can't extend the same courtesy to one of your own?"  
The Professor's voice was cool and calm when he replied. "Mrs. Hudson, you were a friend of Logan's so I will excuse your outburst as an outlet for your grief. Such speeches are not necessary nor will they change my mind. Until Jubilee feels some remorse about her actions and tries to atone for her crime, she will not be allowed back in this house."   
"I am not one of your X-men Professor. And I dare you to try and stop me from going to see Jubilee. Anyone else want to come?"  
Sean walked up to the Professor and ripped the X symbol of his uniform. Tossing it in his lap, "Professor I used to respect you. Now I don't understand you." Sean took a position next to Heather. "We can take Emma's jet, let's go."  
The walked out of the living room and the front door before Yuko caught up to them.   
"Heather, Sean wait, they both stopped and turned around. Can you give Jubilee a message for me? Tell her that there will always be a room with Amiko and me in Japan for the daughter of Wolverine's soul."  
Sean and Heather both nodded and left the mansion behind to travel to the woods of Canada. In an effort try to recover the soul and spark of Jubilation Lee.   
  
  
Authors notes  
Well, I have a chapter and a half more written on this fict. Then I need to write some more. I wonder how this story will turn out? At this point your guess is as good as mine. The next chapter will feature just Jubilee at the cabin alone BWHAHAHAHAHAH.   
  
  
  



	4. Jubilee

A silent madness Ch 3  
  
Summary and synposis: Okay for all those of you that you don't want to read the   
other chapter or go back and find them. In I am writing this very short summary of the   
other chapters in this story. So far Jubilee was captured by Sabretooth and dragged to the   
Canadan woods, Wolverine followed. The usual fight between Sabretooth and   
Wolverine insued, but for once there was a winner. Sabretooth, after that Jubilee cut   
loose and paffed him into little tiny pieces. Jubilee doesn't get a chance to talk to wolvie   
before he dies, and Sabretooth is dead. Enter the X-men, the professor shocked at   
Jubilee's actions tells the X-men not to go after her when she runs into the woods.   
Gambit disobeys and followes Jubilee to Wolverine's cabin in the woods. Jubilee takes   
Gambit into a town and leaves him there. The X-men hold a memorial service for   
Wolverine where Logan friends and Sean ask about Jubilee. Now we go back to   
Jubilee's part of the story.  
  
Jubilee made it back to the cabin just after nightfall. The glint of light peaking threw   
the windows guided her out of the forest into the comfort of the cabin. She pushed open   
the unlocked door and sagged into a chair. The day had been tiring physically and   
emotionally. Jubilee rubbed her weary eyes. She hadn't ment to yell at Gambit but she   
just couldn't take him right now or anyone for that matter. The hike into town today   
seemed longer then it had ever been. She hadn't had a chance to totally recover all the   
sleep she lost when Sabretooth had her. Jubilee pushed herself out of the chair and   
cooked some canned soup she had bought. Heating soup being all she could manage with   
her meager cooking abilities. She put the dishes in the sink to wash them later. Jubilee   
turned off all the light except one dim bulb to serve as a night-light.  
  
"God I miss you Wolvie," she cried to the heavens. Before she slipped into bed and   
fell asleep as soon as the down pillow cushioned her head. Her rest did not go   
undisturbed. Something jolted her out of sleep. She woke up sitting upright in the bed,   
scanning the room for the source of the disturbance that caused her to wake up. Jubilee   
swung her legs out of bed. Inhaling sharply as her feet hit the icy cold floor.   
  
"Who's there? Come on out, or I'll paff you into next week."  
  
As they got closer there bodies changed from a wispy unsubstantial look to solid   
more tangible forms. Jubilee was afraid. But these apparitions looked familiar almost like   
she knew them. They lowered the hoods that had obscured their faces and Jubilee bit   
back her gasp. They just stared back at her. Waiting for her to start the conversation.  
"Mom, Dad I haven't seen you in a while. They nodded in response. Why are you here   
now? Are you going to help me? Am I dying and you have come to take me with you? I   
am ready to go. My reason to stay here is gone. So tell me what you want."  
  
Jubilee father spoke his voice lacked the strength it usually had but that strength was   
replaced with a haunting quality. "You killed us Jubilation. We are the first blood on   
your stained hands."  
  
"I didn't kill you. You died in a car accident. Why are you saying this, Dad? Mom   
make him stop. Its not true."  
  
"But it is true Jubilation, she said. If we hadn't had you we could have moved away   
from the danger. If you had tried to keep us home that night we would have lived. Our   
blood is on your hands alone."   
They walked in a circle around her chanting, blood on your hand, blood on your   
hands.   
  
She tried to grab them but her hands passed right through. "I didn't know. How   
could I? I would have stopped you if I had known. Mom, Dad don't do this!"   
They kept chanting as they faded into the darkness.  
  
"No Mom and Dad! Don't leave me please! I am sorry I really am just come back   
she sobbed."   
  
As her parents faded another figure appeared, dressed like her parents in the long   
flowing black robes, but death had not stolen everything from this figure. Cynjen came   
out still radiating that SoCal attitude she possessed in life. Jubilee looked back in   
disbelief. Not completely understanding why Cynjen was here.  
  
"I know I had nothing to do with your death. I wasn't even there."   
  
"That's just it Jubes. You weren't there. I got cornered in an alley with no backup.   
I got knifed by some guys in a gang and left to bleed to death in an alley behind a   
Dumpster. As my partner and friend your should have been there bleeding right beside   
me. I never had another partner after you. And you left me for your precious Wolvie and   
his X-men. You could have saved me if you had been there. With the two of us and your   
sparks we would have been able to scare them off or at least been able to run."   
  
"I couldn't have saved you either Cynjen. We both just would have died there."   
  
"That was what is supposed to happen with partners. You're never supposed to be   
alone, like I was Jubes."   
  
Cynjen faded while Jubilee pleaded with her not to go. "Please Cyn, wait I can   
explain let me talk to you. I want to try make it up to you."   
  
Cynjen was gone but Jubilee was not alone. Cyclops and a smaller hooded figure   
emerged from the shadows. Jubilee didn't get a chance to recover from Cynjen's   
accusations before Cyclops started in on her.  
  
"You killed me too Jubilee, your former teammate."   
  
"No, no way the nano bomb killed you. I didn't fire it. I didn't know about it. Talk   
to someone else you got the wrong girl. I may be responsible for the other but not you.   
And who is the midget beside you."   
  
"But you did kill me Jubilee. When Wolverine smelt you in the desert he ran off.   
He wasn't there to protect the team. You distracted him during the fighting because he   
was worrying about, you wondering about what had happened to you."  
  
The figure next to Cyclops removed its hood only to reveal a younger version of   
Jubilee. "I am the piece of that you let Bastion take from you. The piece you watched   
die on the floor of the cave while he stood over you. I am your innocent and your faith in   
Wolverine that somehow he would always save you when you really needed it. Bastion   
killed me and you didn't even fight back. You just let me go. You said that it was for the   
good of the team, the good of the X-men. But that's not true why would these adults   
expect you to sacrifice everything for them when they wouldn't do the same for you.   
You should have just told Bastion what he want to hear anything to save me, to save   
yourself. Instead you killed Cyke and me. You could have saved us both Jubilee." They   
both faded away into the shadows.   
  
The next figure's death was still as fresh as the day it happened. Jubilee never got to   
grieve for this one like she had wanted to. After all, she was only his friend not his   
girlfriend. Not like Monet, the team spent months babying her. They didn't even ask   
how Jubilee felt. Ev, her first crush, the first boy she had kissed dead before he had a   
chance to grow up. Not for some great cause like the fight for mutant rights, dead   
because of Adrienne's plot and the other student's ignorance. He stood there in front of   
Jubilee just like he looked before he died so full of life.   
  
"Jubilee you killed me too. You may not have set the bombs but you might as well   
have. It was you they wanted. That fire in your room was a warning for you to leave.   
They knew you were a mutant. They saw you with your sparks one night. Why couldn't   
you hide your powers better. They assumed I was a mutant because I hung out with you?   
They didn't know for sure that I was a mutant. You were with the X-men for crying out   
loud. When Sean told you about the bombs in the school you weren't calm and cool.   
You panicked making you a liability to the team. You should have been helping to   
diffuse those bombs. I am sure you learned that sort of stuff when you were an X-man.   
If you just would have been a little more responsible. Why can't you ever be responsible?   
Do you know how much anguish could have been prevented by that one simple thing?"   
  
Jubilee couldn't take anymore. She fell to her knees as the figure faded away. She   
rocked back and forth, on the cold floor. Sobbing out her words for anyone who was   
listening to hear. " I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, Please! Jubilee's words   
became intelligible, as she sobbed with the face resting on her knees, tears soaking   
through her jeans. She stayed like that for hours the sun rose and fell without her   
noticing. She would cry, drift into sleep for an hour or two at most, and then start crying   
again. Not just tears but heart wrenching sobs, tears that came from the blood of her soul,   
tear to float away in a river of pain. So much time passed with Jubilee like that on the   
floor even she had no idea how long. So when strong arms picked her up she was almost   
insensible not caring whom those arms belong to. It was so comforting just to be held   
she wanted to forget herself in that comforting, warm embrace. But her mind wouldn't   
let her. The arms that held her were so familiar, but no one should be here. Her cheek   
rested against a barrel chest, her head tucked comfortably under the person's chin, like   
had happened so many times before. Jubilee wrenched an arm free to run her hands up   
the set of arms that held her. Up to the shoulder, the neck, and then the face. Her fingers   
traced a set of rough sideburns up to a point of hair on the head. Jubilee pushed away   
from this person. It couldn't be, it should be but Jubilee no longer cared her one wish had   
come true.   
  
"Wolvie you're here your back. I knew you'd come. I am so happy to see you. I   
have so much I want to tell you so much I need to say. But your back I have all the time   
in the world. I told Storm and Kitty what you wanted me to. I talked to Amiko poor kid;   
I made up something for her. I hope you aren't mad about that but Yuko couldn't get her   
to stop crying. But now I can tell everyone what you wanted them to hear. Maybe you   
can think of something better to say to Amiko. I did the best I could. Wolvie?"   
  
He just stared back at her sorrow in his eyes.   
  
"What's wrong, she was panicking? You can't talk can you? Jubilee stood up and   
kicked a chair. Who does this? Who takes you away and doesn't let me say goodbye.   
Then bring you back but won't let you talk to me? What cosmic force did I piss off?   
Why does this stuff always happen to me? Why can't I be normal and maybe angst free   
for more than a month. I am sorry, she screamed at the sky!"   
  
"Wolvie please talk to me. Please, I miss you so much. I never got to hear what you   
wanted to say to me. Just a couple of words. I'd even listen to you tell me about how   
you dying was my fault, anything. You hate me; your biggest mistake was letting me tag   
along. I don't care anything just your voice. Do this one thing for me Wolvie, please."   
  
Wolverine did the one thing he could do. He walked over to her an hugged her again   
because there was nothing else he could do. She could feel him beginning to fade. He   
was becoming less solid, less real. Even after he faded his touch lingered. She could still   
feel his warmth.   
  
Another set of arms clamped around her like steel bands. These arms held none of   
the comfort that Wolverine's had in fact those arms stole her warmth. The hot breath on   
her neck raised Goosebumps making her shiver with fear. There was really only one   
demon left. One person she still had to see. The snarling voice confirmed it, Sabretooth.   
  
"Neva thought you had it in ya frail. The great Sabretooth, taken out by some punk   
kid with a lucky shot. At least I took out the runt. He really musta ment something to ya,   
to make you kill for him." Sabretooth traced a claw down her cheek and she could feel   
the blood run down her face.   
  
Jubilee's mind screamed *That's not right he can't do that. He is dead. But then   
again I know I felt Wolvie when he held me so somehow Sabretooth can touch me too.   
*  
  
"Didn't think I could do that didja frail. Well you killed me, that gives me special   
rights. I am as real as you make the runt, so to get rid of me you have to get rid of him.   
Ha Ha I am gonna enjoy this frail. I can't torment you forever. You ain't never gonna   
get rid of me kid." He let Jubilee go. "Go on run try something shoot of some of those   
cute fireworks. I'll be back I promise. You can't run from something in yer head."   
  
"No I won't listen to you your not real. None of this is real."   
  
"Oh but it is frail this is as real as it gets."   
  
"Fine, if you are real then eat hot plasma!" Jubilee filled the cabin with sparks   
putting neat little holes in the walls and blowing the door open. The sparks passed right   
threw Sabretooth. He didn't even flinch just laughed.   
  
"Nice light show frail, have you ever though of a job as a firecracker. Next time do   
more red sparks I really like those."   
  
"I'll make you go. You can't talk to me if I'm dead." Jubilee charged her powers   
and turned her hands in on herself. If she could just overload her ability to absorb her   
paffs then maybe she be done with all of this. Then she fired and in the split second   
between when her paffs left her hand and when she absorbed then she had one last   
thought.   
*I'm coming Wolvie. Wait for me.*  
Jubilee fell to the floor in a boneless puddle. Limp, unconsciousness, but breathing   
barely.   
  
Author's end notes:   
Like it don't like it? I need feedback to see where this story is going. But don't' worry I   
am not leaving Jubilee alone with her demons for much longer. Currently Sean and   
Heather Hudson are speeding they way to her. Anyway I'll try to get the next part out a   
little sooner. See ya.   
  



	5. Jubilee and friends

**An aching pain or A silent madness **

**Ch 4**

Summary and synopsis: Okay for all those of you that you don't want to read the other chapter or go back and find them. I am in writing this very short summary of the other chapters in this story. So far Sabretooth captured Jubilee and dragged to the Canadian woods, Wolverine followed. The usual fight between Sabretooth and Wolverine happened, but for once there was a winner, Sabretooth. After that Jubilee cut loose and paffed him into little tiny pieces. Jubilee doesn't get a chance say goodbye to Wolvie before he dies, and she killed Sabretooth. Enter the X-men, the professor shocked at Jubilee's actions tells the X-men not to go after her when she runs into the woods. Gambit disobeys and followed Jubilee to Wolverine's cabin in the woods. Jubilee takes Gambit into a town and leaves him there. The X-men hold a memorial service for Wolverine where Logan friends and Sean ask about Jubilee. After finding out about her location Sean and Heather fly off to see her disobeying Professor Xaiver's instructions. Meanwhile back at the cabin, Jubilee seems to be going mad. Jubilee is visited by the ghosts of her past. Her parents, Cynjen, Cyclops, A younger version of herself, and Everett. They all blame Jubilee for their deaths. Then comes Wolverine and Sabretooth these two apparitions are more real than the rest of the ghosts. After a confrontation with Sabretooth in which was able to cut her cheek. Jubilee turns her powers on herself and falls on to the cabin floor

. 

Sean and Heather landed in a clearing a little ways away from the cabin. They had made very good time from the mansion. Not that Heather's Canadian security clearance had hurt any getting them across the border. It was dusk when they saw first saw the cabin and they could barely make out the front door swinging on it's hinges. 

Sean broke out in a dead run yelling all the way. "Jubilee lass, Where are you?" Rushing threw the open door he saw Jubilee laying very still in the middle of the floor. "Lass No." Sean dropped to the floor and grabbed Jubilees wrist feeling for a pulse. He felt a faint one fluttered beneath his fingers. He listened to her breathing, shallow but steady. Heather had just reached the door as Sean picked Jubilee up and put her gently into the bed along the wall. 

"What happened to her Sean?"

"My guess is that the lass turned her powers on herself and tried to overload her ability to absorb them." Sean pointed at the charred shirt. "When her body couldn't absorb anymore it shutdown."

"Is there anyway to know how long she as been like that."

"No not really but she's in shock. We need to warm her up." Sean tucked Jubilee under the covers of the bed and gently kissed her forehead. "We'll help you lass, I promise."

He turned to Heather, "When was the last time you were out here?

"A year or two why?"

"How well does Logan keep his cabin stocked for supplies and things."

"This is Wolverine we are talking about here. With the cabin he's like and overgrown Boy Scout, always be prepared. There is plenty of stuff to stay here for a while. And he even got electricity put in." Heather flicked on a light switch illuminating the cabin. "Sean do you think we can actually help her?"

"I don't know. She had a rough time of it as of late. What do you know of Jubilee, Heather?"

"I have only met her in person once. Right after her and Logan got back from the orient, but Logan talks about her in some of his letters. When I first met her I didn't understand why he was letting her tag along with him or what he saw in her. She looked so young when I met her. I asked Logan what he thought he was doing taking a 10-year-old to live with a wanted mutant team. I pointed out that she wouldn't have the stable family life that she needed. Logan and I actually fought about her, he stated he couldn't just leave someone that saved his life. And I said he had a misplaced sense of duty. I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to change his mind but I had to try, my maternal instincts must have been in overdrive. I knew that I was holding the trump card in this fight, and much to my shame I used it. I reminded Logan of the fact that he never seemed to stay in one place for more than twenty minutes before running off on some adventure. And that it wasn't fair to let Jubilee get used to having him around and loving him if he was just going to leave her alone one day. Logan looked hurt and he might have caved in if Jubilee hadn't stormed through the door at that moment. She had listened at the door to the whole conversation. And I assume you have had a change to see what happens when she gets mad or someone tries to get between her and Logan.

"I have and it not pretty." 

"I don't know about that I got a lovely new window for my trouble. And I had been complaining about the lack of light in my office."

"She punched a hole in a wall?"

"Blew a hole Sean, blew threw 6 inch reinforced admantium steel meant to hold some pretty powerful Mutants. Department H wanted to recruit her on the spot."

"Wow, I did not think the lass had that much power at that age. Your lucky she didn't try to hurt you too."

"Oh she did but Logan got in the way. And the lecture she gave me about her age, maturity, and people that stick their nose in where it doesn't belong would have caused a sailor to blush. But I still don't know that much about her. Just that brief meeting and some pieces from Logan."

Sean sighed, "Well I met Jubilee when she was still with the X-men. She was always so child like at the mansion, playing jokes with Bobby, rollerblading snapping her gum at briefings. I thought that she was very immature. I knew she was there to train with her powers but I couldn't imagine her going on a mission. A couple days later the team got in a firefight with someone who I can't remember now. And Jubilee had come along the minute that fight broke out, she became so serious. Always calculating the best position for her to be in, observing all the situations. And using her abilities to a tactical advantage, she blew up a piece of cement that a second later would have crushed me. Let me give you the brief version of Jubilee's history. You know that she is an orphan and her parents died in a car accident when she was 10. She was living at the mall when she jumped through one of Gateway's portals to end up at the X-men's Australia base. It was then she met Wolverine, and she helped him escape from the Reavers. She lived with the X-men for about four years during which time her friend from California Cynjen died. Jubilee also watched as Illyana died from the Legacy virus. Jubilee didn't really know Illyana that well but I think that was the first person Jubilee had to watch die. That was also one of the few times I ever saw her cry. When Generation X was formed she became a member and left the X-men. At that time Emma and myself became her guardians instead of the Professor. Then there was the whole Zero Tolerance thing. Jubilee was capture by Bastion and forced to tell secrets about the X-men. We still aren't sure about all the details, of what he did to her. She will not talk about it to anyone. Right after she escaped from Bastion Cyclops died after being implanted with a nano bomb. And then on a black day for the school one of me students died in a horrible plot. One of Jubilee's best friend's and her first crush, Everett Thomas," tears pooled in Sean's eyes, "and now this. I know adults that couldn't take what has happened to the lass. And I am not sure how to help her. I am her teacher for god's sake I just want to have the words to take her pain away. She's been a child in an adult's world for so long. We forget that she is only 17. I do anything to bring Wolverine back to her. He always found some way to help her she drew strength from him when he was around. I never understood her absolute trust in him when he couldn't be counted on to be there when she needed him. But she never doubted that he'd come back for her, never wavered in her faith. She wasn't ever scared by his feral state and even I am scared around a feral Wolverine. She always believed that Logan would get her though somehow. " 

"I think I can explain what Jubilee saw in Wolverine. He tried to tell me once. Logan is like Jubilee's knight in shining armor. When the rest of her world is not like the fairy tale she imagined. Then she can pretend that he will come and save her, which most of the time he does. But she is also his savior, when they met he was helpless he need her and in her mind that made him real and human. He also in his own way loves her. Jubilee went so long after her parents died without loving or caring about someone, and then she found Logan. Her heart needed to care about him; she couldn't go without loving forever. While, he was basically helpless she fell in love with him its just part of her nature, and it filled a hole in her heart she didn't know that she had. They complete each other. Logan needed someone that could trust him with unwavering devotion but could still be his equal. Jubilee needed someone to care for and someone to place her faith in. Hopefully, we can get Jubilee through this but for know we have to wait until she wakes up. And who knows when that will be."

Jubilee did eventually wake up. The first thing she noticed was something cold and wet across her eyes and that she was laying down on something very soft. Then she remembered what she had done and what she needed to do. She was dead now could go find Wolvie. She sat up and that brought the attention of her lightly dozing watchers. Jubilee turned to face the source of the movement. 

"Sean? Why are you here?" Jubilee caught another movement and saw Heather Hudson sitting near by. "And what's Wolvie's friend Heather doing here. I thought I was Where is Wolvie and why are we still in the cabin?"

"Whoa, lass how do you feel? You've been out for a while. What happened to you? We found you laying on the floor out cold."

"You mean I'm not dead? Then you must be dead? Oh god, I can't have killed you too. You were alive the last time I saw you. Was it Emplate that got you, Sean? I know, he got to the team while I was gone, didn't he. And Heather must have killed herself cause Wolvie died and since I couldn't save him I killed her too. How many more deaths will I cause?" Jubilee lowered her head and sobbed into her hands. 

Not noticing the looks on the faces of Sean and Heather. Sean lifted up her chin to look Jubilee in the eyes. "Lass we are not dead. We came here in a mini jet when you weren't at Logan's funeral. Heather and I were worried about you." 

Sean pulled Jubilee into a hug. Jubilee immediately recoiled. "No I don't trust you don't touch me. You could just seem real. This is probably a trick I know you must be dead only the dead are here."

Sean looked hurt and his mind was going a mile a minute. *Can the lass have had this much of a breakdown? Why does she assume we are ghosts? * "Jubilee why do you think were dead? What happened to make you think you can see the dead. What would make you believe that we weren't real? 

Jubilee eyes focused on a point beyond Sean and Heather as he talked. Jubilee watched as a fog materialized behind them. The fog combined into a familiar shape, Wolvie. From that point on Sean and Heather only heard half the conversation.

"Are they real, she asked him?" The ghost nodded.

"Why aren't I dead I only wanted to be with you. He shook his head.

"No? What do you mean no? No you don't know why I am not dead or no I can't be with you. You do realize this would be a lot easier if you would talk to me. The head shakes no again.

"Oh going to be the strong silent type, okay one last question. Can they see you, another shake?"

"Oh great so now they think I'm nuts thank a lot Wolvie. Do I get a hug before you go?"

The apparition of Wolverine stepped between Heather and Sean causing both of them to shiver. Then they watched, as Jubilee seemed to hug something that wasn't there. After a long embrace Jubilee's arms dropped back to her sides. And her focus switched back to Sean and Heather. 

"Okay so you aren't dead, your real. But now you both think I am fit for the loony bin, right. Want to take me and lock me away in a little rubber room fine it doesn't matter to me anymore."

"No lass that's not why we are here. We came because we care about you. I am still your guardian after all. Who were you talking to just now? We couldn't see anyone."

"I know apparently only I get to see him."

"Who?"

"Wolvie he was standing right behind you. Now are you going to lock me up and throw away the key? Can you just kill me instead? It hurts too much to stay around and why should I have to suffer anymore. You all need to leave soon he'll be coming back."

"Who will be coming? And no we are not going to kill you. You think you saw Wolverine, and he was real."

"He is as real as you are Sean, he just can't talk. And now you both need to go before Sabretooth comes. You won't be safe here when Sabretooth comes."

"What makes you say that lass?"

"Sabretooth and Wolvie are the most real of my ghosts. Jubilee pointed to a cut on her cheek. He did this to me right before I tried to kill myself. All my dead have come to me; Mom, Dad, Cynjen, Cyke, Ev, even a younger version of myself. They all have visited. Wolvie and Sabretooth have the most substance; I can pass my hand right through the others. I can't let Sabretooth hurt you guys too. I know he won't kill me he'd lose his little plaything. I don't have that guarantee with you guys. Since you couldn't see Wolvie you are probably safe but, but I don't know. I just don't know anything anymore. Sean you understand I can't Heather get hurt she's an innocent. I don't want you to stay either. I just want to be left alone, but I am guessing that you won't go will you Sean."

"No I won't lass."

"Why the other X-men left me here they left me alone like I wanted. I am sure that Professor X gave you the same order about me that he gave them."

"Actually, lass he did. And I don't claim to know the Professor's mind, but I know he was wrong and I told him as much. You shouldn't be alone Jubilee not if you don't have to be. You should be with people that care about you. That's why Heather and I came out here, we care about you. The others would have been here but we thought it best if only a couple of us came.

"Sure right Sean, if they had really want to be here they would have followed me the night I ran into the forest."

Heather who had been silent for this whole exchange finally found the right words. "Jubilee, I understand you're hurting. When Sean said he wanted to come here I volunteered to go with him. One because I knew where the cabin was. And second because I wanted to see you. I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me for what? I killed your friend. I killed Wolvie."

"I want to thank you for notifying me about Logan. None of the X-men would have thought of that. They thought that the X-men were his whole life, you knew better. I also had a message from Yuko. I talked to her and Amiko at the service."

"How was Miko?"

"Fine Jubilee, whatever you said to her helped. Yuko wanted me to thank you for that and to tell you that there would always be a home for you with her and Amiko. Jubilee there are a lot of people that still care for you, lots or people that want to be here for you. 

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do people care about me. I just end up killing them. You all only care about me because you think I am a child and any adult cares when a child gets hurt. Heather, I barely even know you. If you are here because of some promise you made to Wolverine then release you from it. You don't have to be here. Neither do you, Sean. This is some weird teacher student obligation for you isn't it. You lost one student and you can't stand the thought of losing another. I am not your student anymore, Sean and I was already lost before this. You lost me the night you lost Ev. So now that I have released you of any bonds to me. Will you both go?"

"Jubilee you may not be my student, but I am still your guardian. So as long as you stay out here so will I."

" I can't keep you safe, Sean I couldn't keep any of them safe. I don't want you to see me like this. Heather, thank you for coming but go I can't deal with people, Sean go with her please."

Heather sighed, "All right Jubilee, Ill go I really only want to talk to you anyway. I'll hike into town and catch a ride from there. That will leave you and Sean the mini jet if you need it." 

"We won't because Sean will be getting in it and flying off very soon."

"Not unless you are next to me Jubilee."

"Come on Sean." Heather pulled on his arm. "I want to talk to you before I go and I left some stuff in the mini jet."

"Can I leave you for a little bit, lass. You won't try anything?"

"No, I'll be a good girl."

"Good I'll be back as quick as I can."

Sean and Heather left the cabin. "Sean, the only reason I am leaving is because Jubilee seem so definite on it and it won't do any good to have her fighting with me all the time. She'll get used to you being here, she knows you better anyway. However, you need to be careful around her. Whatever she thinks about those ghosts could affect you too. Jubilee is still a latent psi, right." 

"Yes but she still hasn't exhibited any powers except strong mental shield and a telepathic invisibility."

"You know as well as I do that trauma can cause her powers to become active. And if she become a psi then she may drag you into her mind. And at then point what is real for her may become real for you to."

"If I could see those ghost of hers maybe I could help her banish them."

"Sean, don't let her become to dependant on you or next time when something happens it will be harder and harder to bring her back. I don't know what you are going to do about her thinking that Sabretooth and Logan are real but I believe that it is a perception of her mind. She wants them to be real so they are. I'm going to hike into town it's not that far, and get a ride home from there. I'll leave my cell phone my number is preprogrammed in. Call me if you need anything. Good luck, Sean."

"Heather, I know that at some point Jubilee will want to really thank you for coming out here. And I want to thank you for coming with me. Just know that we both appreciate you." 

"I understand, that she can't say that right now and she's hurting. Your very welcome Sean, someone had to come with you to show you where the cabin was. Otherwise you'd scream down this entire forest looking for her." 

Authors notes

Just for you all who thought I was never going to work on this story again HAHA. Now that that's done I figure I can have this wrapped up in three more chapters or so. Stay tuned. And a special thanks to my beta reader Genki Girl. 


	6. Chapter 5 or 6 Mom, Dad, and Cynjen

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A silent madness ch 6 Mom Dad and Cynjen oh my

Summary and synopsis: Wolverine died while protecting Jubilee from Sabretooth. Jubilee killed Sabretooth and is now staying at wolverine's cabin in the woods. Sean flew up and is there with her. If you want a better idea of what is going on then read the summary at the beginning of chapter 5. Or you could read the whole story again, if you have time. I hate trying to summarize what happens in these chapters. I basically made up this part and in my universe Cynjen is dead. 

Sean trudged back to the cabin and found Jubilee sitting at the kitchen table staring into space. "Lass, are you okay?"

"Uh huh, did Heather leave?"

"Yes, she did, and she is hiking into town to catch a ride home."

"You'll be leaving now right, she asked hopefully?"

"No, I won't be."

"Well don't say I didn't warn you. What do you think you are going to do when the ghosts come? You can't see them and I don't know if they can see you."

"I guess I deal with that when it happens."

"Sean, when you were with Interpol did you kill. Did you see death; did their faces haunt you afterwards?

"I did kill a few times, and I've seen people die. And the ghosts of the people did haunt me for a while."

"Wolvie's memories haunted him forever. How did you make them go away?"

" I let go of the guilt, I felt about their deaths. You have got to do the same thing. You have to accept your responsibility or lack of responsibility in their deaths. I don't think you have ever accepted the deaths of those around you, except for one. When you named all those people why didn't you mention Illyana? You were around when she died."

"What's Yana got to do with anything?"

"She didn't come to haunt you did she?"

"No, she didn't. Is this going somewhere Sean?"

"Yes, why do you think that you didn't see her?"

"Don't know."

"I think I do. You deny that people around you die. Starting with your parents and working all the way up to Wolverine, except, Illyana's death. You only know knew her for a little while but I think you were close. And I know for a fact that you cried on at least two shoulders that night. Did you mourn for your parents or anyone else? Or did you feel like you had to be the strong one."

"Damn you, how dare you say I didn't mourn for them. I felt every death and each one took a small piece of my heart and twisted it in a vice. I've cried an ocean for Wolvie. And I cried for Illyana because she was just a kid she shouldn't have died like that. She wasn't even a mutant in this life."

"Jubilee could you have saved Illyana from death?"

"How could I? I didn't know her when she had been infected. I don't have some cool mutant power to bring people back to life do I?" 

"What about the others? Could you have saved any of them?"

"If I had been stronger, better equipped, smarter, yeah I could have."

"No lass that just it you couldn't have saved any of them just like you couldn't save Illyana. You have to let go of that guilt. That is what's making these ghosts appear."

"Guilt, and what make you such an expert on my pain, guilt and, how long it's been with me. If I let go of it then they will all be gone. These ghosts temper all that I am and have been. You ask the impossible, how can I just let go. I keep them all alive in my heart. You tell me to let go of the guilt I feel. My parents ghost said they wished I'd never been born. You want me to let go of the guilt of being born? Is that what you want, how is being alive my fault. I never asked for this."

"Jubilee that wasn't your parents. It's you grief taking the form of your parents. No parents would say that to their child. I'll help you through this we will confront them."

What make you so sure that my folks wouldn't say that? They never really loved me. How will we confront them, Sean? You can't even see my parents. As if on cue they emerged from the shadows visible to Jubilee but not to Sean. Great Sean now they're here. I am not strong enough for this again. Her parents began to close on her, chanting blood on your hands. "AHHHHHHHH," she screamed; clamping her hand over her ears to try to block out their words. 

Sean yelled to be heard. "What are they saying Jubilee, let me help you." Those words open a floodgate of emotion. Jubilee's desperate and broken mind searched for any solace it could find. It took solace in Sean. And the world as Jubilee saw it came rushing in on him. He could now see the black robed figures that had closed in on her. Their chanting echoed in his ears. Jubilee looked over at him her eyes flashing with anguish. He crossed the room to where she was in two strides and enveloped Jubilee in a rough embrace. The ghosts seemed to take no notice of this. It was like he could see and hear them but they couldn't see him. 

"Ask them why they are here? Why are they tormenting you now after all this time."

Jubilee just stared intently looking at her parents. Sean turned her head away from them and lifted her chin so she could look him in the eyes. "Jubilee, look at me, focus. I can see them now and hear them but you have to talk to them I can't do that for you." They're your demons; they won't go away unless you make them. Ask you parents, why they are here. I'll be right here if you need me."

Jubilee turned to face her parents, who had ceased chanting. "Why Mom and Dad, why now?"

"We have always been here Jubilee. You just never acknowledged us. We blame you for our deaths. Why didn't you stop us from leaving that night?"

"I didn't know you were going to die."

"You didn't avenge our deaths Jubilee, Remo, Molokai, and Mr. Brawn all still walk the earth. You disobeyed our final wish that you live with your relatives."

"Is that what you really wanted? For me to go live in some communist country? I am a mutant; I would have been killed. And I found someone to look after me, Wolvie. I think you might have liked him Mom and Dad. He loved me like I was his own daughter. He taught me that killing wasn't always the best way to get revenge. Killing those people wouldn't have solved anything; it couldn't bring you back. I made sure the police got the information they needed to put all of them in jail for a long time. They are paying for their crimes. You have to let me go now. I didn't kill you and I have punished those who did. I can't keep confronting you every night. I love you, she said as her voice broke."

Jubilee's mom and dad nodded their heads. "We love you to, our little Jubilation, then and now." The figures faded away. 

Jubilee relaxed back into Sean's arms. That was so hard Sean, I don't know if I can do it again."

Sean soothingly rubbed her back as she sobbed into his shoulder. "Shhh, It's okay you did well. This is just the first step in a long road, but you've made progress. It may not be easier but it will get better I promise. You can cry on my shoulder all you want. Her crying did slow eventually; helped by the soothing word Sean whispered her ear. She was happy for the little warmth he was lending to her cold life. 

"Jubilee, your part of a team, no matter what happened to Logan. No matter where you are you can call on any of Gen X or the X-men to help you and they'll come no matter what. That's what being a team means.

"But you wouldn't know anything about that would you Jubilee an venomous voice snarled."

Sean was taken aback by that remark, "Who's there."

"Go ahead tell him who I am Jubilee. Tell him what happened to your first teammate. Jubilee lifted her head to look right at Cynjen. "Hey, Cyn figured you'd be coming soon. Sean meet Cynthia Jennifer or Cynjen.

"What would you know about how teams are supposed to be Jubilee?"

"Jubilee why does she say that?"

"They think you are so dedicated to the team very impressive Jubes, you sure have them buffaloed. They don't know how you abandoned me do they? How after you left, a gang in a back alley jumped your first partner, cause you left me with no backup. 

"I didn't want that to happen."

"We made an oath to always be there for each other Jubes. Where were you? You'd been gone for better than a year. Why didn't you come back?"

"I got a hold of you as soon as I could Cyn. There aren't a whole lot of phones in the outback. Besides you left me first. I didn't notice you when I was running from the M-Squad. And when I got settled at the school I invited you to come even though you weren't a mutant they would have taken you in. 

"I wasn't the school type, I'm a thief and a mall rat which is what I thought you were. We were such a great team."

"I couldn't force you to come where I could protect you. And I want to learn to better control my powers. Cyn you taught me so much. I am sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. But I had an obligation to my new family too. I couldn't just up an leave them."

Cynjen nodded understanding Jubilee's reasoning and she faded away. Jubilee stared blankly at where 

Cynjen had been tears sparkling in her red rimmed eyes. Sean brushed two tears away with his thumb.

"Jubilee why don't you try to get some more sleep. The dark circles under your eyes do nothing for your face." 

She stared dumbly back at him and then cracked the smallest smile. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to make a joke. I'll go to bed; maybe I can fall asleep before anyone else comes." Jubilee shuffled over to the bed and wiggled under the soft flannel covers. "Night Sean," she murmured sleepily.


	7. Chapter 6 or 7 Cyke, mini me, and Ev

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An aching pain or A silent madness

Ch 6 Cyke, mini me, and Ev

Summary and synopsis: Wolverine died while protecting Jubilee from Sabretooth. Jubilee killed Sabretooth and is now staying at wolverine's cabin in the woods. Sean flew up and is there with her. If you want a better idea of what is going on then read the summary at the beginning of chapter 5. Or you could read the whole story again, if you have time. I hate trying to summarize what happens in these chapters. Some of the events may not be totally accurate with the marvel timeline. Like Cyclops dieing from the nano bomb. 

Jubilee slept for eight hours straight. When she woke up, she was at least a little less fatigued. The pain of losing Wolvie and the others still nagged at her though. 

"Hey sleeping beauty, do you want some food, asked Sean? It's not five star cooking but it won't kill you like Emma's. 

"I'm starved. I don't remember the last time I ate. Jubilee sat at the small table as Sean set down a bowl of stew. Jubilee ate it ravenously. "Mmmmm this is good Sean. Where did you learn to cook?

"I haven't always been an X-man lass. I was on my own for quite a while and after the first six months Top Ramen and Macaroni and Cheese get old. You quickly learn to cook at that point. 

"Did you learn any other useful things?"

"I can wash dishes and do my own laundry."

"Gee Sean you're a regular house wife."

"Just call me Betty Crocker."

Jubilee snickered slightly at that, "oh yeah I can see it now. You cooking the meals and cleaning the house, sure, she giggled again."

"I was getting worried that I never hear that laugh again, it lights up the room."

"Thanks for staying, Sean. So you can see the ghosts now?"

Yes, Heather thought that might happen. You probably lashed out with your latent psi gift and made a mind link. Not a very strong one, otherwise we'd be able to hear each others thoughts and I'd be able to talk to the ghosts. 

Sean you know that when the ghosts come back this time. It's going to be harder for you. I mean you didn't know my folks or Cynjen. Everyone else you are going to know. I can't deal with the pain you fell about their deaths and mine. It's okay if you want to leave now. I don't know if I am ready to tell anyone about the Zero Tolerance stuff, ghosts or you. 

"I stuck it out with you this long. I'm not going now. Any guilt I felt about those deaths doesn't matter; this isn't my time it's yours. Besides I have dealt with my feeling about all of that, even Everett's death. Jubilee you haven't told anyone about what happen with Bastion? I always assumed that you had talked to Logan about it. 

"Nope," she replied flatly. 

"You don't have to be strong for me. I just want you to be you, the real you."

"I can't, Sean. If I am not the happy little firecracker, who will be?"

"We don't expect you to be like that all the time, do we?"

"Most of the time, I get two sad days a year."

"I never really thought about it, lass. But you're right the few times you haven't been the happy little girl the team didn't know what to do."

"Well somebody had to break thought to Wolvie. And I make a nice contrast to the angst that is the Summer's clan. I don't regret it. It's just somedays are harder than others. She paused for a moment to look Sean in the eyes. "I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"I may say things, things that the X-men don't know, stuff about Zero tolerance. You can't tell them Sean, it would hurt them to know."

"I promise not to tell them lass, now what's this big secret.

"It's all tied into what the ghosts of Cyke and myself blame me for. Cyke blame me disrupting the team, and distracting Wolvie. And the ghost of me, blames me for not trying harder to save myself."

What exactly do they blame you for? What happened?"

"Well Cyke said I distract Wolvie and the team. They hadn't expected to find me wandering out in the desert. But he didn't know the whole story.

"What is the story Jubilee?"

"Well you know that the X-men were captured briefly and taken to the Hulkbuster base, where I was being held."

"I had read that in the reports yes."

"Well while escaping they got trapped in a room with no way out. As they were preparing themselves to face the onslaught of Sentinels a panel opened, one that led to the surface. A lucky break for them that a door opened right when they needed it, wasn't it."

"Did they think Bastion was stupid, that he hit the wrong button and let them out, she cried! Sean if you were trapped in a enemy base and suddenly a way out magically appeared what would you think?"

"I'd think that I had a friend in the control room."

"And that would be logical wouldn't it. But did the mighty X-men think that no. I opened that door for them while in a straight jacket after having been tortured for over a month. I smashed my head into the control panel repeatedly to try and hit the right button. I watched them on the security screens as they ran out, happy to be free. And then, the ghost accuses me of being a distraction. When Wolvie came and found me in the desert I had twisted my ankle in the dark, and was cornered by a Prime Sentinel. It wasn't like I didn't need a little help right then. When Mustang's programming was activated I blinded him. Allowing him to regain a grip on his humanity. I saved them all twice; I couldn't be everywhere though. I wasn't a distraction to the team. I helped them I really did. Then that nano bomb hit Cyke and there was just enough time to throw me at the Academy before speeding off to Salem center. Did they ask me how I got out there? Or did they wonder about the bruises and what was left of the straight jacket? No they didn't barely even slowed the plane down to throw me off."

"And no one knows any of this, Jubilee you have kept this all inside?"

"What was I supposed to say. I hope you enjoyed your visit to Bastion's base had you stuck around a little longer you might have found me. It was after releasing them that I think a little piece of me died. Bastion was not thrilled that I let his prisoners go. He took special care in beating me that night. What should I have done, not let the X-men go to save myself?" I let them go and lost two pieces of me in the process, my faith that the team would always come through when I needed them. And my naïve innocence about the world, that under it all people don't hate mutants they're just scared and don't understand."

"Jubilee, Zero tolerance took something from everyone. I had no idea that it took that much from you."

"It did, and with Cyke dead I didn't think that my pain was the greatest so I kept quiet." As she said that two tears rolled down he face and two figures materialized on either side of her. Cyclops and the younger Jubilee leaned and each brushed a tear off her cheek. Cradling these in their hands they stepped back a faded away.

****

Ev Story

"You know it was you they wanted." The voice made a cold statement of fact. "That fire in your room was just a warning."

Sean head shot up at this. He carefully scanned the room, and his eyes settled on his, former student Everett Thomas. "Ev do you know what you are saying to the poor girl."

The vision of Everett seemed not to notice Sean's words. "So Jubes do you feel better now. I could never love a silly immature girl like you. And then because I'm in love with Monet you get me killed. Those boys never saw my mutant power, how could they my power require a mutant to be around." They wanted you. They just assumed I was a mutant because I hung out with you."

"I asked about you when you weren't with Mr. Cassady. He sent Monet to look for you."

"But I am not the one with the ability to explode matter on a sub atomic level. You could have just changed the molecular structure of the bombs and rendered them harmless."

Jubilee sighed, "I suppose I could have but I don't have that much control on my power. I could have done that with the bombs I saw, maybe, but not all of them. That's part of the reason I when down to Gen X, to become more proficient with my powers. I've only touched the power you spoke of twice and both times the building blew up too. I am sorry that I didn't have enough control of my mutant powers to save you. I am sorry they scare me so much to use them. And I am sorry that I wasn't more careful about hiding my abilities."

"But Ev what would you have done if they had caught me instead, what make you think you would have been safe. I was always protecting you guys. Ever notice I was the only one that got really hurt on our missions. It wasn't because you thought I was a klutz. It's because I made sure that I took the hits. Ev you couldn't have stayed safe forever, and you couldn't have kept you powers a secret forever. I am just sorry that I couldn't have kept you alive a little longer. The ghost of Ev vanished a quickly as it came. 

And now Sean had to speak. "Is all this true, lass?"

Jubilee nodded, "I won't lose another family because I couldn't do anything Sean, never again. If it mean sacrificing my self for the life of one of my friends then I'll do it. No regrets even if it means more time in the med lab. 

Jubilee I had no idea this is how you felt about all of us. I knew your ties to The X-men and Gen X were strong, but I never imagined that they ran this deep. I assumed you felt that was about Wolverine but not all of us. It must tear you apart when the X-men go on a mission and your not their."

"It does. But that why I always tell stories about when I was with the X-men. Beside I call over there almost every other day. Just to check up on everyone. Drake is a huge gossip."


End file.
